I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
