fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Randomize