Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Randomize
