Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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