just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Randomize
