yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
