please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Randomize
