I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Randomize
