The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
That reminds me...we need to get swords
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
Randomize
