Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Randomize
