Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Randomize
