we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
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