Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize