dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
