Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
I am mentally ready for anal.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
