How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize