I don't usually arrange sex via text message
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
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