Three words: puerto rican gang bang
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize
