there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
