Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
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