He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
