his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
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