Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
he's gonorrhea incarnate
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Randomize