Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Randomize
