i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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