hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Randomize
