Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
Your penis caused this!
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
there is puke in my bra ... again
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
