All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Randomize
