glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
True strength comes from lack of pants
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Randomize
