I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
