You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Randomize
