Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Randomize
