And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
