She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Randomize
