i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Randomize
