Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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