didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
false alarm, still single
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
