if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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