Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
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