I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Randomize
