I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Randomize
