why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Randomize
