Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Randomize
