so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
