what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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