you didnt know i had herpes?
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
