I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
