I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize
