Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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