So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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