just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
