you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
i love accidental penises.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Randomize
