I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
We talked him into tasing himself.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
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