Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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