At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
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