just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
