im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
