Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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