in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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