just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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