I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
