Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
