I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
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