kristin has been a bad kristin
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
